Lay to Waste (Poem attempt #2)

[Project Blaze]

They lay the land to waste
They approach without fear
They make great haste
Shed not a single tear

The shadows linger
Such is their curse
Darkness is the harbinger
To something far worse

The people panic, running away
With one gesture, they lay the land to waste
The people are silent, and nowhere to be seen
They lay the land to waste so there may be a new world

With no remorse, they lay the land to waste.

Not really sure where this came from.. lol I just know that it's my 2nd try. Hope I did better. :\

[Muffincat]

I really like this, Infernal. I think it is better than your first one, though I enjoyed that one as well.

bonus points for using harbinger? :P

But yeah. I like it. I would give better (actual) criticism but I am so sleepy my brain is sooooo foggy

[Project Blaze]

lol I know the feeling. & Thanks! ^_^

[jango]

i prefer this one too, but i can't help but feel you need to spend longer looking at it after writing. sometimes you get a greater sense of what it's lacking in the edit, and also allows you to bring more images or metaphors to help bolster what you're wanting to say.

maybe the next time ur on irc we can talk about it - u certainly have ability, but perhaps just need some extra bits and bobs to bring more depth and life to ur writing. maybe we can talk about it some time.

[KittyCat72]

It's very interesting... nice work, I like it.

[Project Blaze]

i prefer this one too, but i can't help but feel you need to spend longer looking at it after writing. sometimes you get a greater sense of what it's lacking in the edit, and also allows you to bring more images or metaphors to help bolster what you're wanting to say.

maybe the next time ur on irc we can talk about it - u certainly have ability, but perhaps just need some extra bits and bobs to bring more depth and life to ur writing. maybe we can talk about it some time.

I'd be more than happy to talk about it, almost on irc now. lol I've been looing for some tips and stuff, so that'd be helpful. Thanks! (:

& Thanks for the commentz! ^_^

[Yuuki]

I likee ittt(:
Kinda mysterious feeling. :o
Me likey<3
Keep at itttt(:

[Project Blaze]

^_^ Thanks!