Relationships and Friendships

[Project Blaze]

Ok, so I've been thinking about this a lot. Longer than I've been wanting to actually, so I wanted other peoples' opinions/views on the subject.

More often than not I've seen friendships ruined by people taking it to the next level. While it's true that some people do remain friends, that isn't too common I don't think. So, my question to you is: What would you do? Would you take the relationship further (or attempt to) and risk the friendship? What do you think others should do? Thought this would make for a nice debate.

[Samus-Fan]

I am in this dilemma right now, actually.
I am going to risk it, but because I see it as this:

Is she worth the risk?
If she isn't worth the risk, you shouldn't be together anyway. If you are willing to risk it and go for it, you obviously care for her.
But that's my view on it, and I know others won't agree with me.

[Project Blaze]

Well people do think they're worth the risk, but sometimes it isn't reciprocated. At least the ones that I've seen, so that's what I meant by ruining relationships. (Even though I think people already knew that I meant that. -_-)

[LiNuX]

I've risked it and I've lost it. It was worth it because it was fun and in the end you find them annoying anyway...so losing it is worth it too...sometimes.

[Muffincat]

Yeah... completely depends on the person. I have had several good relationships that fell apart because the guy got interested... I would have liked to remain friends but in two cases they basically stopped talking to me after I said I wanted to be friends... However, all my relationships have come to be out of friendships, so those did in fact work out. However I am not one of those modern frisky girls who goes straight after it... I pretty much wait for them to make the move x: So that doesn't really help but anyway I think sometimes it is worth risking it and other times it is not.

[Project Blaze]

In my case I've risked it too many times and never was able to remain friends with them. I used to be really desperate for a relationship, so my friends (who ended up being mostly girls for some reason) eventually dwindled down until I had nobody left. The other ones probably just didn't want my drama or something. Can't say that I blame them. But I don't need someone to be happy (so far, somewhere down the line I'm sure I will), so that's why I made this thread. To see if anyone else felt like that, or was as desperate as I was. Kind of a selfish reason, but I wanted a serious discussion about relationships to figure out some things about how people are, and what they did differently than me.

[BobTD]

Yeah Its both for me. Its not always so much the quality of the person as much as how the relationship runs its course.

The few relationships that haven't ended in friendship have been because the relationship ended when the trust was lost. I have been cheated on before and I choose not to remain friends with people like that.

There is the rare awkward breakup where you cant get over that other person, and choose to avoid a person even when they probably didn't cheat on you. I have been in that position and felt betrayed, weather or not those feelings are justified is hard to tell. But its not worth killing yourself to be friends with someone who has moved on to that one guy they swore was just a friend while you where dating. It would be easier if you had no feelings for them in that case, but that's not how it always works.

And on the other extreme I have dated some friends two or even three times. And still remain great friends with them. I have great friends who just didnt work out as girlfriends. And also some firends I would just never date (even if they are hot, if I know it would end the friendship).

As long as you are both clear about your feelings and mature about handling your emotions even a broken heart doesn't have to end a friendship. But you have to be careful how soon you start dating again sometimes.

And as long as we are on the subject of friends and dating, dont be a one night stand for your friends when they go through rough breakups. I have had close calls and in the end I'm glad I was the voice of reason because a lot of times they end up going back out with they person or hating themselves. I think emotional stress is just as bad or worse at impairing your judgment as booze can be. And real friends watch out for each other.

[Diligence109]

...but anyway I think sometimes it is worth risking it and other times it is not.

I kind of chuckled when after all that deliberation your conclusion was "um yeah sometimes." ;)




And on the other extreme I have dated some friends two or even three times. And still remain great friends with them.

Three times?! Damn, I've only done twice before, I'm just plain impressed.



As long as you are both clear about your feelings and mature about handling your emotions even a broken heart doesn't have to end a friendship.

Communication - comprehensive and uncensored - is the key! This boy knows what he's talking about. You doing anything this weekend, Bobby boi? Feel like taking some risks? ;D :twitcy:

[Muffincat]

I kind of chuckled when after all that deliberation your conclusion was "um yeah sometimes." ;)

This is the most defining statement about me I have ever heard. XD

[EpsilonX]

sometimes I feel like sometimes friendship isn't enough. If it doesn't work out as a relationship, then its just not gonna happen.

but i think the best relationships are made from strong friendships

[norid]

umm hi i'm new
but i have been dealing with this problem for quite a while i find the best thing to do is talk it out with them to see where you both stand....that way you don't end up rushing into something you might regret.
But then again they should know you well if they are friends so they should know what to expect