Poll time: pro or anti spanking?

[thedeparted]

Which side of the field do you stand on? I personally am pro, I believe there will be times I will need to spank my child and will fully do so. Nothing dramatic that will leave a lasting impact other than hey dont do this, this is not ok. If you do this incident you will get spanked.

[CraeSC111]

I'm pro. It has its place. As long as it isn't actually damaging to the child which would be abuse

[thedeparted]

Yeah leaving a bruise or using an object such as belt, stick is crossing the line imo

[Synge]

Pro. I don't believe it should be a parent's default form of discipline, but sometimes a swat on the ass is needed.

[xLykos]

Very pro. I got spanked as a kid and I turned out very well behaved. I see these kids on like Nanny 911 and awful shows like that. Time outs don't work. Break out the belts people
I'm not saying leave them with bruises or anything, just put them in their place and show them that what they did isn't acceptable
Almost the same thing as rubbing your dog's nose in it after they go in the house. Classical conditioning

[Mizel]

Hmmm…. Im not against it, but I can’t see myself doing it. The whole “Im doing something because my parents did”, I think is a bs reason. Do what comes naturally and what you feel is right as a parent. No need to already decide you’re going to hit your kids because you got hit….

I on the other hand was on ever spanked once, by my grandfather. He smacked my azz out of sheer anger, more then anything else… which is sadly what I think a lot of parents do. Hitting your kids because *you’re* frustrated is not the way to go. Like I said I was never spanked (except that one time) and I turned out just fine. If I was bad, I got the things I wanted and enjoyed taken away. But what was worse to me then that, was the disappointed I’d receive if I did something bad. Know why I didn’t ever get bad grades, talk back, get into trouble crazy or do absolutely ridiculous things I knew were wrong? Because I was scared to death of letting my family down or disappointing them. And in my opinion, a mind-fuk like that is far worse then being hit. There’s a big learning difference between not doing something simply because you fear pain versus not doing something because you know it’s wrong….

[paecmaker]

I am not for it but Im not hardcore against it either.

But I know I wont do it because I think there are other methods that works better(at least I think so).

[Trunks]

Spanking should have more of a physiological effect then a physical. You don't hit them hard enough to cause a lot of pain, just enough to let them know they did something wrong. Thinking back on it now, I use to be spanked, and I remember it not really hurting, But when I was doing some wrong and my parents said if I keep it up I'll get spanked, I stopped doing it.

I'll never spank my kids because I can't stand children, so I'll never have any to spank.

[vepanator]

Spanking should have more of a physiological effect then a physical. You don't hit them hard enough to cause a lot of pain, just enough to let them know they did something wrong.

^This, this, this, so many times this!

And my spanking story? I got it from the belt once, my bro like 100000 times. And I'm sure to have a belt lying around my house when I get kids, just to let them know that what Trunks said.

So Pro Spanking from here.

ed: I want to share this image with you guys, it suits the thread and is so so so true, even if we see the 60's as 90's:
http://vanhus.naamapalmu.fi/files/7h/medium/jtgJhtAUrdJ1i0TM0kqn.jpg
As I worked 4 months as an assistant teacher, I saw that happen every day. I grew up at the 90's, and NEVER never it was teachers fault if I got bad grades. NEVER.

[Yasdnil]

Very pro. I got spanked as a kid and I turned out very well behaved. I see these kids on like Nanny 911 and awful shows like that. Time outs don't work. Break out the belts people
I'm not saying leave them with bruises or anything, just put them in their place and show them that what they did isn't acceptable
Almost the same thing as rubbing your dog's nose in it after they go in the house. Classical conditioning

Very anti. I was never spanked and I have turned out very well behaved.

PS: NrtfTrynPlz- think you mean operant conditioning. I'm a psychology lecturer and teach about conditioning ;-)

[BobTD]

Im very anti spanking. I think if a child is young enough to be spanked that they should not be. Young kids need firm parenting and lots of hugs.

But older children need beatings.

I mean, spanking can be taken overboard, and we cant be sure where to draw the line. So young children should be protected from this. But when dealing with older children, beating the little SOB is a great way to break them of negative behavior.

Lets consider that some children, like myself, laughed at attempted spankings. You cant spank hard enough to deter me from laughing at your stupid attempts at discipline. At least not without crossing that line into abuse. But you take a kid out back, and tell him to defend himself, then knock his ass around with a sack of oranges (so it doesn't leave bruises) it gets through to them.

They start to realize you aren't their personal butler, and that some people in this world will mess them up if they talk back. Bam, instant attitude change. and you usually only have to do it once!

Im going to be a great parent someday.

[Doll]

I'm not sure what I am. Gosh, I was spanked by paddles, whipped by coat hangers and belts, and got chased around by my grandma with a needle in her hand. I still turned out to be a pretty crazy child during my younger teenage years. I guess every child has different outcomes. I won't argue for or against it. Whatever comes naturally to the parents, it's their choice.

[Trunks]

Im very anti spanking. I think if a child is young enough to be spanked that they should not be. Young kids need firm parenting and lots of hugs.

But older children need beatings.

I mean, spanking can be taken overboard, and we cant be sure where to draw the line. So young children should be protected from this. But when dealing with older children, beating the little SOB is a great way to break them of negative behavior.

Lets consider that some children, like myself, laughed at attempted spankings. You cant spank hard enough to deter me from laughing at your stupid attempts at discipline. At least not without crossing that line into abuse. But you take a kid out back, and tell him to defend himself, then knock his ass around with a sack of oranges (so it doesn't leave bruises) it gets through to them.

They start to realize you aren't their personal butler, and that some people in this world will mess them up if they talk back. Bam, instant attitude change. and you usually only have to do it once!

Im going to be a great parent someday.

Lol I have to disagree on this. I'm taking a psychology course now and the vast majority of psychologist agree that kids gain a lot of the aspect of right and wrong at younger ages between 3ish and 12ish. If a kid does something wrong, you can't just go "it's okay little guy *hug*, run along now" That's not going to teach them anything lol, I know I exaggerated on that, but right and wrong should be taught before the age of 12 and hopefully is carried over to the later stages.

[egg-whites333]

haha age 12 eh? No ones teaching me anything now! :P

[TheMangler187]

Pro. It has it's time and place. As long as you're not some drunk idiot looking to bash your kid up with a hockey stick for no reason, a simple spank is in order when they start doing wrong.

[thedeparted]

Im going to be a great parent someday.

I really doubt this.

[Mizel]

Lol I have to disagree on this. I'm taking a psychology course now and the vast majority of psychologist agree that kids gain a lot of the aspect of right and wrong at younger ages between 3ish and 12ish. If a kid does something wrong, you can't just go "it's okay little guy *hug*, run along now" That's not going to teach them anything lol, I know I exaggerated on that, but right and wrong should be taught before the age of 12 and hopefully is carried over to the later stages.

I think what he means, or at least what I took out of it haha, is that not only can spanking a kid too young be pointless or counterproductive, but that also kids will be kids….. If you’re smacking the crap outta your kid, and they’re too young to understand, it’s not really doing any good….. same with smacking your kid every time they act like, well a kid. I’ve seen parents hit kids over the stupidest little things… if your going to spank your kid, at least make it worth it. Kids are full of energy, they are obnoxious, and they are learning their limits and boundaries. You can’t hit a kid every single time they want to run around in an inappropriate place or every single time they don’t want to pick up their toys or finish their dinner…It also seems kind of pointless to hit a kid versus talking to them because they don’t understand WHY what they are doing is wrong, just that they get hit when they do it. I never got hit because I never needed to be…. when I did something bad, I was first sat down and told exactly why what I did was wrong and then I was punished. The effects of being punished last a hell of a lot longer then being spanked. Typically the spanking goes… Get caught doing something bad---> Get screamed at while having your pants ripped down ---> 30 seconds of spanking, still getting screamed at but not really sure why ---> all over, kid confused cause they don’t know why or what they were doing wrong. Yet being punished goes more like Get caught doing something bad---> Get sat down and told what you were doing ---> Begin punishment (typically for me was to stand in a corner with my nose touching the wall) ---> Stand there for 10 minutes (or to kid what feels like hoursssss) and are forced that whole time to go over in your head exactly what you did wrong --> End punishment, no confusion.

At least for me as a kid, I learned my lesson a hell of a lot better from being punished because it took longer and stuff would sink in better. I was either forced to stand in a corner for long periods of time, or when I got a little older I was forced to write on a piece of paper HUNDREDS of times in a row what I did wrong. For example, “I will not color on the wall” over and over and over again. I would have preferred getting spanked because a spanking is quick and easy and it didn’t bother me….

I also find it kind of funny that everyone that is pro-spanking claims, “It worked on me. I was spanked *all the time* so Im going to do it to my kids.”…. it’s amusing because most of the time, from personal experiences and things I’ve seen, kids that get spanked get spanked OFTEN. You’d think if it worked so well, that it would be a very occasional thing….

Besides, once your kid gets older… as in teens age, you can’t hit them any more because all they have to do is tell someone at school and your boned. So what then?.... I was always more mentally punished as a child then physically, and it shows even still. I am *still* terrified to my absolute core to even SWEAR in front of my elders and Im friggin 26 years old lol :P

[Emp]

Even though I don't have a kid of my own, I do feel that a light punishment like this is necessary. Is important to teach kids that there are consequences to bad actions.

[Trunks]

I think what he means, or at least what I took out of it haha, is that not only can spanking a kid too young be pointless or counterproductive, but that also kids will be kids….. If you’re smacking the crap outta your kid, and they’re too young to understand, it’s not really doing any good….. same with smacking your kid every time they act like, well a kid. I’ve seen parents hit kids over the stupidest little things… if your going to spank your kid, at least make it worth it. Kids are full of energy, they are obnoxious, and they are learning their limits and boundaries. You can’t hit a kid every single time they want to run around in an inappropriate place or every single time they don’t want to pick up their toys or finish their dinner…It also seems kind of pointless to hit a kid versus talking to them because they don’t understand WHY what they are doing is wrong, just that they get hit when they do it. I never got hit because I never needed to be…. when I did something bad, I was first sat down and told exactly why what I did was wrong and then I was punished. The effects of being punished last a hell of a lot longer then being spanked. Typically the spanking goes… Get caught doing something bad---> Get screamed at while having your pants ripped down ---> 30 seconds of spanking, still getting screamed at but not really sure why ---> all over, kid confused cause they don’t know why or what they were doing wrong. Yet being punished goes more like Get caught doing something bad---> Get sat down and told what you were doing ---> Begin punishment (typically for me was to stand in a corner with my nose touching the wall) ---> Stand there for 10 minutes (or to kid what feels like hoursssss) and are forced that whole time to go over in your head exactly what you did wrong --> End punishment, no confusion.

At least for me as a kid, I learned my lesson a hell of a lot better from being punished because it took longer and stuff would sink in better. I was either forced to stand in a corner for long periods of time, or when I got a little older I was forced to write on a piece of paper HUNDREDS of times in a row what I did wrong. For example, “I will not color on the wall” over and over and over again. I would have preferred getting spanked because a spanking is quick and easy and it didn’t bother me….

I also find it kind of funny that everyone that is pro-spanking claims, “It worked on me. I was spanked *all the time* so Im going to do it to my kids.”…. it’s amusing because most of the time, from personal experiences and things I’ve seen, kids that get spanked get spanked OFTEN. You’d think if it worked so well, that it would be a very occasional thing….

Besides, once your kid gets older… as in teens age, you can’t hit them any more because all they have to do is tell someone at school and your boned. So what then?.... I was always more mentally punished as a child then physically, and it shows even still. I am *still* terrified to my absolute core to even SWEAR in front of my elders and Im friggin 26 years old lol :P

I wasn't saying that you spank them for everything they do wrong, and I also said in my before post that you don't spank to hurt, you spank for the psychological effect that it has. You should never spank your kid out of anger. When kids are younger, they learn better by hands on and physical things. You can still spank and tell them what they did wrong...

When I was younger my dad would spank me when I did something more than just not picking up toys or eating my dinner. It was more for stuff like, getting in fights with my brother, or back talking multiple times as they were punishing me ( like grounding me or taking something away. ) Anyway, the spankings never really hurt, but I still always feared of getting one. For me it was all psychological, not sure why it was, but that's the effect that it had on me.

Spanking doesn't have to be and shouldn't be a physical effect, it's just the children learn better for hands on, and this gives them that hands on effect, but still pressures them mentally as well.

[Mizel]

I wasn't saying that you spank them for everything they do wrong, and I also said in my before post that you don't spank to hurt, you spank for the psychological effect that it has. You should never spank your kid out of anger. When kids are younger, they learn better by hands on and physical things. You can still spank and tell them what they did wrong...

When I was younger my dad would spank me when I did something more than just not picking up toys or eating my dinner. It was more for stuff like, getting in fights with my brother, or back talking multiple times as they were punishing me ( like grounding me or taking something away. ) Anyway, the spankings never really hurt, but I still always feared of getting one. For me it was all psychological, not sure why it was, but that's the effect that it had on me.

Spanking doesn't have to be and shouldn't be a physical effect, it's just the children learn better for hands on, and this gives them that hands on effect, but still pressures them mentally as well.

Oh, I know you’ve said before that you don’t spank to hurt. Sorry, only the first sentence of that whole spiel was directed at you! lol Sometimes I suck at communicating xD I was just trying to clarify what I thought Bob was saying…. the rest was just more of my opinion in general and unrelated to what you had said before :P

But you are right, it should be psychological over painful. The problem is I don’t think all parents understand that and when spanking doesn’t work they need to try other methods because otherwise they tend to just make it a more frequent thing and more painful. Like you said Trunks, spanking worked on you. I was totally the opposite. I would have taken a spanking any day over the other punishments I got lol

That’s what I meant by people shouldn’t go into parenting with the attitude of, “Oh, it worked on me/my parents did it to me, so Im going to do it to my kid” because it really doesnt always work that way.

[CraeSC111]

Well mizel I'd say its better than going in with the "I'm going to give them a big hug and tell them its alright" approach.

[Mizel]

Lol My bff’s sister is that way. NEVER yells at her kid or tells her no or anything. Like to the point where she will just sit there and watch her destroy something. Soooooooooo frustrating. Well, my fiancé can’t stand poorly behaved children, and he has no problem yelling at your kids for you. lol So we went over there one day, and she was doing something bad and he looked at her and sternly said, “No. You can’t do that.” She literally started bawling immediately…. ever since then he’s the only one that can get her to stop. Shows just how far a TINY bit of discipline goes…

[CraeSC111]

Actually my friends little brother is 6 or so and has a highly developed sense of right and wrong. When he gets in trouble he always asks that you explain exactly what was wrong with what he did

[Mizel]

I think most kids do. My bff's sister kid I mentioned in my last post isnt even 3 yet and she def knows when she's doing something wrong and knows exactly why.... doesnt stop her since no one disciplines her, but she still understands :P

[CraeSC111]

I think its kinda scary what he knows already.

[Mizel]

Thats what I think about her too... i like wait, wut? Why do you understand that?! O_o Sucks most cause now its to the point where we need to watch what we say.... yea, Im always vulgar and I swear like a sailor haha its so hard >_<

[CraeSC111]

You'd make a great parent :p
Besides being anti spanking

[Mizel]

You'd make a great parent :p
Besides being anti spanking

Ohhh, Im not completely anti lol Sometimes you just need to smackababy! :P Im just anti-overspanking and spanking kids for being kids. But Im going to be the woooorst pushover parent ever. My mom NEVER grounded/punished me or anything herself EVER. The only time I got punished was from her bfs or my grandparents xD

[CraeSC111]

And we all know how you turned out :p

[Mizel]

You mean a 100%, perfect little angel? I know ;)

[paecmaker]

You mean a 100%, perfect little angel? I know ;)

Perhaps a fallen angel, then it might be a little closer to the truth. :p

[Mizel]

I can handle that ;)

[BobTD]

To readdress my post. I dont think younger children need spanking at all. I think there are alternatives that cant be ignored. I am however, not ignoring the fact that spanking can be effective. I just think that most people suck as parents and or being human beings and probably cant draw the distinction between productive and counterproductive.

Im sure you can use a variety of parenting methods. But you really want a single goal. Your child to self regulate their behavior.

Your goal is not to scold every action a child makes, this only tells them what not to do. You want them to think critically of their choices. You cant expect children to develop faster than the cognative stages allow, but you can introduce them to events that help them in the right direction. For example:

If you want your kid to stop running around the store picking up stuff, hold their hand. If you want them to stop grabbing everything in sight, put a toy in their other hand. Make it a favorite toy and threaten to leave it behind if they drop it to grab store products. You are forcing them to unlearn the connection of getting something from grabbing unknown objects and begging (sometimes) with potentially loosing something. Now they are faced with a conflict that helps them regulate more positive behavior. Do not yell at them in public, and do not get angry and discipline them for just being kids. By yelling at them you teach them that is normal social behavior. By getting angry you show them how adults deal with problems.

Young children: If your child is young enough where you can impose control and influence over their every action, then you should not be spanking them. If you want them to eat right do not give them snacks or buckle and give in because they dont like it. They will eat what you give them if they get hungry. If their room is a mess and toys are all over the house, you gave them to much crap. Box some stuff up and make them behave to get it back.

Older Children: If your child is at an age to have open dialog with you, talk to them. You should not have to resort to physical deterrent with older children. Open dialog and non physical punishments that are cooperative (the child agrees to abide by the punishment)are far better for their development (i will explain in a moment). Talking to them to help them understand why they have to behave can be hard. But physical deterrents will not exist in school settings and you are not preparing them for the world. You are doing them an injustice by not helping them develop the cognitive skills to self regulate their behavior without physical deterrent. (this is the part where you notice I might not be talking out my ass)

I would also like to address the idea that if you spank a child you wont face behavior problems by the time they are in school, with hundreds of other children influencing their behavior (remember, you cant expect them to develop faster than the cognitive stages allow). And well before they have crucial decision making brain development. Your delusional if you think this is the case. And you can not address behavior problems over the course of a day, that you are not there for, with immediate physical deterrent. You have to equip them with problem solving skills appropriate for their age before they face that chaos. Tools that they themselves can use to regulate their behavior in a condition where you cant impose a physical deterrent. This is assuming that the effect of spanking decreases if the fear is removed. And it probably is if they are in a public school. This suggests you are simply teaching your child fear that they will grow out of, or will only associate with you.

Finally, I want to draw comparisons between hitting a dog and physically punishing a child. (and we at least agree that even if its not abuse, it can still be scary) They have the same goal, to punish a behavior. Ignoring the fact that most people hitting a dog are abusing it, lets pretend they hit it very lightly. It is clearly effective. However, if you come home and find your dog has broken a lamp, and you hit them, they do not associate that punishment with the lamp. Even if you drag them to it and point. They are cowering because they are being submissive to your anger. A learned behavior. It is true that a child will be able to figure out the reason for the punishment, but the same conditioning will also apply. So while they understand why you are angry, they will be fearful of many things. Including accidents that they could not have controlled, because you might get angry. Consider all the implications.

Are fearful children better at socializing or more introverted? Is correct behavior really an extension of proper social behavior? Do the negative effects outweigh the positive?

So to sum my opinion up, I believe spanking works, but that it is not the best option. I view it as an easy way out for lazy parents, that has negative side effects. I do however believe in discipline.


Im going to be a great parent.

I really doubt this.

You really should share your secret methods for gaining insight about people you dont know based on text alone over the internet. I think you would have a really successful product if you could bottle the secret that validates your opinion. =D I draw people out with the humor in my argument specifically to find arguments worth having. Sometimes the rebukes are cheep shots. (Yours needs work)

Being witty and always getting the picnic basket in a metaphoric sense does not qualify me as a parent. I know. It is my charming good looks and ego that insure my success. Simply by being so awesome I have greater odds of attracting a qualified female with no career prospects to stay home and do all the real parenting for me. Its a solid plan. Trust me.

I did just drop a bomb of a post going against the majority opinion with mad style.

[thedeparted]

You certainly have a an ego, good looks? Try again. As for everything I've found your stories about getting tail left and right to be a joke. You are probably uber virgin rofl. As for you being epic parent, maybe you maybe you won't but I have personally seen kids who aren't corrected and coddled the way you seem to think a child should and they are rotten as fug.

[norid]

I am not going to lie... i thought this said SPAMMING and I was thinking "Oh yea, I love doing that to my friends by ordering a bunch of adult mag subcriptions and mailing it to them"...
But spanking... hmmmm I support it as a psychological facter. When the child does fear the ain then stop cause it has no more effect.

[thedeparted]

I am not going to lie... i thought this said SPAMMING and I was thinking "Oh yea, I love doing that to my friends by ordering a bunch of adult mag subcriptions and mailing it to them"...
But spanking... hmmmm I support it as a psychological facter. When the child does fear the ain then stop cause it has no more effect.

You seem like a good friend!

[norid]

^^^ It is a mutual game of tag spamm lol all in good fun.

[BobTD]

You certainly have a an ego, good looks? Try again. As for everything I've found your stories about getting tail left and right to be a joke. You are probably uber virgin rofl. As for you being epic parent, maybe you maybe you won't but I have personally seen kids who aren't corrected and coddled the way you seem to think a child should and they are rotten as fug.

My ego may in fact be inflated due to lack of being challenged. Then you go on to inflate my ego by insulting me after you are unable to present any well thought out opinion or facts to dispute me. I really feel like you have no basic understanding of the topic at present and contribute nothing. When people are absolutely defeated they often resort to childish comebacks, insulting others in pretty unimaginative ways. Your are really just proving my superiority on this topic at this point.

I really hope someone like Trunks can make this fun again by stimulating intelligent debate. I like his posts. Oh and Mizel to. I think she was the first person to try reading deeper into my posts and then post her interpretation. (I enjoyed reading that!)

(I really have no stories about being laid left and right, but I could probably come up with some pretty entertaining ones)(that implies I do have experience)(I know its not funny if I have to explain it)
(I was just worried someone would not get it)

[thedeparted]

I think you are yet another person that have never been around children and never had experience watching a parent from a 3rd person view go horribly wrong. I have, have you? I ask you that. My attacks may bechildish and not warranted but you've always rubbed me the wrong since days of 2010 summer. You have an unlikable personality.

[BobTD]

I think you are yet another person that have never been around children and never had experience watching a parent from a 3rd person view go horribly wrong. I have, have you? I ask you that. My attacks may bechildish and not warranted but you've always rubbed me the wrong since days of 2010 summer. You have an unlikable personality.

Well you are wrong about everything except having an unlikable personality. I cant be sure you are wrong about that, but I have a strong suspicion that its because I'm always right.
I hear genius intelligence level people have a hard time relating with others, and I am willing to consider that alongside this opinion that I am unlikable. It seems to correlate.

The next most likely scenario is that I like pushing buttons, that you take offence easily, and that I only have a slightly higher than average IQ. But I only consider this a remote possibility considering just how unlikable you describe me. I'm almost positive that the more unlikable I am the more intelligent I would have to be. I would have to somehow insult people between the lines of well thought out arguments in a manner that has yet to get me banned simply for the pleasure of aggravating people who cant counter an argument.

This kind of sick amusement might also imply poor parenting in my past. I think you might make me cry.

[thedeparted]

lol you are so full of yourself.

[Trunks]

two words, superiority complex.

[thedeparted]

Perhaps bob is a aspie :shrug

[BobTD]

Aspie
A superior being, while deficient in chaotic morasses such as small-talk, inferior double-standard-laden customs and values trumpeted by Neurotypicals, and deciphering Neurotypical body-language, more than makes up for it with a sharp, penetrating mind that is highly adept at developing an intense focus on a subject giving them a near-savant level of proficiency, an inborn sense of principles that allows them to develop practically consistent characteristics and values, and an ability to reason independently, reducing their susceptibility to dogma, acceptance of groundless assertions, and the hazards of groupthink.

Sweet.


two words, superiority complex.

I wish. Why would I be so quick to attack my ego when I know the rest of the world is eager to do that for me?

I mean when it comes to parenting doesn't everyone think they know best? I like to think that I'm simply a colorful person. With strong opinions. If that color has to be black and others only bleet like sheep at least I can say I am true to myself. Sheep can not think critically. But my humor about my ego should not be confused with reality.

The topic at hand has just had a major contribution that is heavily salted with my brand of humor. Weather you choose to focus on me (im flattered) or the thoughts and expressions within is up to you. Judging me for having a sense of humor that is hard to understand is understandable.

You are presented with the choice to engage me or the topic. Personally, you wont bother me unless you can prove my reasoning flawed.

[norid]

Wouldn't you be the most colorful person regardless if you were the color black because black is a combo of all the colors in one?

[Trunks]

I wish. Why would I be so quick to attack my ego when I know the rest of the world is eager to do that for me?

I mean when it comes to parenting doesn't everyone think they know best? I like to think that I'm simply a colorful person. if that color has to be black and others only bleep like sheep at least I can say I am true to myself. But my humor about my ego should not be confused with reality.

The topic at hand has just had a major contribution that is heavily salted with my brand of humor. Weather you choose to focus on me or the thoughts and expressions within is up to you. Judging me for having a sense of humor that is hard to understand is understandable.

You are presented with the choice to engage me or the topic. Personally, you wont bother me unless you can prove my reasoning flawed.

I actually agree with most of your points about parenting, seemed very logical on how a child before adolescence would think. I personally never gave it much thought on how I would raise my kids because quite frankly, the last thing I want at this time is kids. I honestly don't even want a girl friend at the moment, living the free life is keeping me content. I simply just didn't take much notice of it because how you presented it, but if you say that is just your humor then I guess it was an misunderstood inducement.

Anyway, back on point, if there was one problem with your theory I think it would be that kids are pretty stubborn. You may hold their hand in the store from keeping them from grabbing things, but that isn't going to stop him from kicking and screaming until you let go. It all depends on your patients with the kid and how much you can handle. I bet the 90% of the parents who spank their kids out of anger tried some of the same methods you suggested, but the kid still acted out and the parents didn't know what else to do. Things never go as planned, it's a fact of life.

[BobTD]

But throwing those tantrums is actually part of the way kids develop. By experiencing that emotional state they can learn how to deal with it. Actually choosing not to act out that way will only happen if you are consistent with your actions. If you let them get away with bad behavior it reinforces that the bad behavior helps them get their way. So it seems to me almost like its the parents fault if they never learn better, and in turn we resort to physical deterrents like spanking. You cant really get away with spanking in public anyways. Most parent just get frustrated and give in.

If you don't give in they wont associate it with getting their way.

If a child wants something and does not get their way, and begins to make a public display there are plenty of options to disciplin them. Take them to the car and sit with them until they calm down. tell them if they continue to act out they cant go back in the store. Explain why. Stay true to this method and your kid literally will not have a reason to throw a tantrum, because they will learn that it will not get them what they want.

What really makes this harder and is unfortunate, is that its hard for one parent to do this alone. You are at an advantage if one parent can always remove them from the situation for bad behavior. And then the other parent can finish a task or buy food. I cant think of a single good reason for your kid to get out of hand other than the difficulties presented by being a single parent.

Im willing to wager that almost all bad behavior has roots somewhere in a parents social interaction with a child, or that child's interaction with others. (depending on age) And I am willing to allow that a single parent with a young child in school faces a lot more work. But I still dont think any problem can only be solved with spanking.


Wouldn't you be the most colorful person regardless if you were the color black because black is a combo of all the colors in one?

Indeed.

[Mizel]

But throwing those tantrums is actually part of the way kids develop. By experiencing that emotional state they can learn how to deal with it. Actually choosing not to act out that way will only happen if you are consistent with your actions. If you let them get away with bad behavior it reinforces that the bad behavior helps them get their way. So it seems to me almost like its the parents fault if they never learn better, and in turn we resort to physical deterrents like spanking. You cant really get away with spanking in public anyways. Most parent just get frustrated and give in.

If you don't give in they wont associate it with getting their way.

If a child wants something and does not get their way, and begins to make a public display there are plenty of options to disciplin them. Take them to the car and sit with them until they calm down. tell them if they continue to act out they cant go back in the store. Explain why. Stay true to this method and your kid literally will not have a reason to throw a tantrum, because they will learn that it will not get them what they want.

What really makes this harder and is unfortunate, is that its hard for one parent to do this alone. You are at an advantage if one parent can always remove them from the situation for bad behavior. And then the other parent can finish a task or buy food. I cant think of a single good reason for your kid to get out of hand other than the difficulties presented by being a single parent.

Im willing to wager that almost all bad behavior has roots somewhere in a parents social interaction with a child, or that child's interaction with others. (depending on age) And I am willing to allow that a single parent with a young child in school faces a lot more work. But I still dont think any problem can only be solved with spanking.



Indeed.

I totally agree 100%. I remember when my cousins were younger. I used to babysit them over the weekends.... well, my little cousin was a hellion to the max. Biting, hitting, tantrums, everything. Spanking did absolutely nothing, so his parents resorted to just letting him get away with everything. He would literally pick up something and smash it and his parents would just clean it up and continue on....

Well, one night he was acting like that for me. The next day we were going bowling. I told him if he didn't behave that night he couldn't go tomorrow. Of course, he misbehaved (not believing my threat). So what happened the next day? He didn't get to go. He was absolutely astonished by that. A complete mindf_ck, if you will. When we came back from bowling, he was a new kid for me.

Didn't take me hitting him. Took someone standing up to him and showing him who was boss.

[BobTD]

That is a good example Mizel.

I find it sad that so many people are pro spanking and think its a critical difference. The opinion poll to me is shocking, but then again I hope most of the voters are not parents given our collective age group.

What really needs to happen is parents need to take classes when they learn they are having a kid, and even afterwards to learn what they need to know for the developmental stages children go through ahead of time. Proper parenting is not as simple as doing the best you can. We have that ideology in America and its clearly failing. We should do the best we can after we educate ourselves. Parents are to quick to make excuses for why they cant control their children, claiming that "if the laws where the same as when I was growing up, children would be a lot more respectful" or even "The schools are failing me".

I think it might be that schools are having a hard time because in order to teach a child, that child needs to be able to focus and control their behavior. That's not happening at the level it should be. I live in an especially bad state where I see a large number of parents are overweight, drink daily, and look forward to watching tv more than spending time with kids. Physical activity that you can involve your kids in helps them spend that pent up energy that otherwise becomes "hyper active behavior". Proper eating habits and physical activity are needed for more than a healthy body. And discipline is a key factor in that as well as controlling your child's behavior. Sometimes parents have the nerve to blame their childrens pent up energy on why their kids are a mess and cant focus. Or even the child's behavior problems.

Bad parenting is so common that supporting spanking seems to be the same thing as supporting child abuse. Most of the unwanted behavior is a result of bad parenting. We should not support a method that when combined with bad parenting quickly becomes abuse.

[thedeparted]

Speaking of bad parenting, today I was at the license place getting plates and this 3 year old was walking around and had p-d herself and the mom was going about it like nothing.

[BobTD]

wow I know, today I was what must have been a four or five year old girl at Walmart crying and her mom was swearing at her in the parking lot and yelling at her.

It seriously made me angry. And she was right in front of the door I was walking in, so I told her she was a poor role model. And told her to be ashamed of her behavior so that I wouldn't have to be. Some parents should have their kids removed until they complete a parenting class.

[thedeparted]

Yeah i've seen parents get in kids faces and scream at the top of their lungs while cursing, it's pretty ridiculous

[CraeSC111]

Dont you love the yellers. Yelling is probably one of the worst ways to get your children to listen to you and it teaches them that yelling when angry is ok

[Mizel]

ugh, I dunno what happened to me as a kid.... but I can not stand yelling, as an adult. I only ever got screamed at by my mom's bfs, but it sets me off.... I can be super calm in an argument but when someone raises their voice at me, I snap and go into ultra pissed off defensive mode >_< I'll def never yell at my kids like that.

[supertramp]

i, on the other hand, disagree. when i see a parent yelling at their child in public i assume, as anyone would, that because it is a public area, it is a public punishment, and everyone is free to join in. so i do. yelling at other people's children solves a fair number of problems. i'll now list them

1) the parent will (in most cases) stop yelling at their child. they will, however, most likely start yelling at you. but then you can argue aggravated assault, so it's ok.
2) i get to let off steam. yelling at other people's children for what i'm disappointed in my life about is a great way to make them feel bad instead of having to do it myself.
3) getting myself arrested. again. free food and shelter for a while, and watching tv with people who WANT to have sex with me! who wouldn't love that?

---------- Post added at 02:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:43 AM ----------

in all seriousness, no matter what you do to your kids, it's going to have negative and positive effects on their psyche. if i go through life with never being spanked, even when i do something wrong, and taking away things i like doesn't mean **** to me, i'm not going to learn to be any better. people need to stop treating kids like they're made out of porcelain and just instill good values. so a kid gets spanked once in a while, big deal. so long as you're not acting like it's CONSTANTLY on the verge of happening, he'll understand that when you do bad, bad happens to you. i'm sick of people acting like kids don't understand. granted it's true with very young children and all that, and animals, but once we're above a certain age, you know damn well what you did wrong. and you know why someone's pissed at you for it. when someone treats their kid like crap like bob said it's a tragedy but it's also just as grave a tragedy when they treat them like they're an angel made of glass instead of just a child that yes, NEEDS to be a little **** once in a while. it's normal and healthy. so stop freaking out that your kid is normal and not perfect. he wont live forever no matter how careful or protected he is.

[Mizel]

"1) the parent will (in most cases) stop yelling at their child. they will, however, most likely start yelling at you. but then you can argue aggravated assault, so it's ok.
2) i get to let off steam. yelling at other people's children for what i'm disappointed in my life about is a great way to make them feel bad instead of having to do it myself.
3) getting myself arrested. again. free food and shelter for a while, and watching tv with people who WANT to have sex with me! who wouldn't love that?"

hahahaha

That just made my day xD

[norid]

Before I used to think spanking was a harsh, embaressing punishment... BUt after being on the other end of the hand I am confused... is it supposed to feel... naughty when the other person enjoys it?

[Mizel]

naughty, and so so right xD

[norid]

It was naughty untill she flipped it around on me and then it was like hmmmm.... what's the word/ phase I am looking for

[Mizel]

Ummmmm word or phrase OTHER then hott and or kinky? :P

[norid]

Well yea when she seemed to be enjoying it XD
But she flipped the sitution and got a couple of good smacks in... I guess my man hood is feeling a little down as all...

[Mizel]

Ohhhhh! emasculating.... that's the word your looking for :D

[norid]

There ya go! I knew the word, just not the spelling. lol yes very emasculating in that sitution.

[Mizel]

hey, sometimes us woman like to be in charge too! :)

[norid]

Hey I am not agaisnt it... sometimes kinda fun. But it caught me off guard.

[Mizel]

I prefer being on the receiving spanking end lol Know what I love about this convo? It went from spanking kids to spanking adults... and it's still on topic xD

[norid]

I was thinking about "I think we are going off topic" in my last post but we transitioned pretty well into adults so it's all goood.
I advocate spanking as a healthy form of "playing" around in couples!

[Mizel]

Most agreed! ^_^

[norid]

But disagree with people who say men who engage in spanking their partner have a need for domanice. I think it's playful and kinky when done in a healthy amount :)

[Mizel]

Agreed. Spanking doesn't necessarily mean dominating at all. I mean... if the spanking's done with a whip, then maybe xD

[norid]

Yea the whip kinda makes me a little nervous, but the whip is actaully tempered and softend, don't ask how I know. Those Japanese know how to raise the bar when it comes to those fetishes...

[Mizel]

LOL The whip I have is rubber and not exactly fun. Kinky is okay, but pain is not :P

[norid]

Haha I'll stick with the pat on the butt, and if it turns into whipping then I am not sure how I would react, of course I just hope I am not being the one whipped

[CraeSC111]

How did I know this thread would eventually get on that subject. And speaking of this subject that's really damn weird you two

[Mizel]

Lol I prefer to think of it as.... exploratory versus weird :P

[norid]

Wha???? It's all in fun... and pleasure.

[CraeSC111]

Just gotta get it by my gf....

[Mizel]

Lol There is no 'getting it by'... just ya know, do it and suffer the consequences later xD

[CraeSC111]

I don't know if I wanna risk it. Dangerous stuff you are talking about

[Mizel]

Oh I know... I just wanted you to do it so I could hear about she kicked your arse after :D :D

[CraeSC111]

I'm totally telling her about this

[Mizel]

Lulz xD

dingleberry

[norid]

here's what I did... "Hey beautiful" proceed to kiss and pat (not spank) butt and kiss. "Hey what say we try a little rougher form up forplay" then bust out the oil.

[Mizel]

/popcorn..... Go on.... LOL jk :P

[CraeSC111]

Who needs porn when you have norid :p

[norid]

Flattery and a calm approach is all you really need.

[Mizel]

Unless of course, the chicks turn off it flattery calm approaches ;)

[norid]

haha well duh! Alright laters! Time for class.

[Mizel]

RANDOM IMAGE RAWRRRR

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qlz-xlWUC_0/Tzs5iYL95OI/AAAAAAAABZM/fQ_EaB8sLLo/s1600/random_dog.jpg

[norid]

I can not see the random image boooo

[BobTD]

I prefer being on the receiving spanking end lol Know what I love about this convo? It went from spanking kids to spanking adults... and it's still on topic xD

Oh. My. God.

lol, this has been very... I dont know, scary? I dont think anyone ever tried to spank me in a kinky fashion, well one did but I caught her mid swing and let out a tiger roar that flung her out the window.

[Mizel]

Well you sir, are missing the most amazing thing EVER!!

[norid]

Haha indeed! I support kinky spanking. I just pitched a T-Shirt idea for it!

[supertramp]

Oh. My. God.

lol, this has been very... I dont know, scary? I dont think anyone ever tried to spank me in a kinky fashion, well one did but I caught her mid swing and let out a tiger roar that flung her out the window.

i was there. his roar attracted many other females, as well. all of which he had children with. that i am now using as free labor on my rabbit butchering business. i make them raise individual rabbits, love them, then slaughter them alive. i feel this will make them heartless, soulless children ready and willing to murder anyone i so choose.



i also spank them daily, at random.

[CraeSC111]

And another random post by Bob's friend. Try making a useful contribution to at least one thread. Speaking of rabbit slaughtering I bet getting children involved in equine activities would help them develop some sense of responsibility. Plus it stops them from becoming weird animal hugging hippies

[supertramp]

And another (amazing) post by Bob's friend. (other people should) try making a useful contribution to at least one thread. Speaking of rabbit slaughtering I bet getting children involved in equine activities would help them develop some sense of responsibility. Plus it stops them from becoming weird animal hugging hippies

there. i fixed it.

[thedeparted]

spanking a girl while in doggy is rather hot, get those cheeks rosy red yo

[Jaykub]

Pro Spanking.

Whenever I did something bad I was always spanked. I don't think it had any effects on me, but if it did it was only for the better.

[CraeSC111]

Jaykub that sounds kinkier than I'm sure you meant. But copying behavior from parents isn't the best reason for doing things