*le sigh* I know I disappeared. I try not to do that but, like I said, things get hard to keep up with sometimes. ARGH! Yes, tough indeed. But I'll manage. So how have you been? Anymore trips to beautiful, tropical lands?
Hey there dood!! Been wondering where you went, you dropped off the face of the Earth! :P Good to hear from you Glad all is well... man, school and working 2 jobs? That's toooouuughhh
Aw, dude! It's been freaking forever since I got on here!!!! I'm so sorry. Life's been one big blur lately, though. It gets hard to keep up with everything! O_O And now I'm about to be working 2 jobs. PLUS night classes. *sigh* I miss talking to you, though! That's actually why I got on here just now. To say hey and see how you were doing and whatnot.
Sorry to hear you’re pissed No worries though, Im the same way when Im mad… Ill try to not take offense Awwww, well my job is sitting on a computer all day so I can get away with it :P I do accounting and HR paperwork/training stuff. Pays good, good benefits…. Just gets boring… and quickly hah Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing. You shouldn’t have to put up with anyone trying to talk you into or make you feel bad about that decision. In fact, I think it’s great that you don’t give in, takes a strong person to stand up for themselves. My dad was an alcoholic as well. Honestly, I think that’s what helps me to not be one. Having seen what it can do, I refuse to ever let myself turn into that. I know people that can’t have fun while sober, it’s just sad. My best friend is like that actually, it sucks seeing it first hand. She won’t go anywhere or do anything without being stoned. Just ridiculous- but to each his own, I guess. True, but I’d rather be an American in another country then being an American in America xD Ah, well yes that is def a good reason to go to a psych But like you said, you knew why you were having mood swings and really that’s all that mattered. In reality he thought you needed a shrink but what you really needed was to not have a relationship with him. Sucks not being able to tell someone how you feel. That was my first relationship as well. Stayed with the guy for 11 years because Id rather be miserable then make him miserable. And really, it ended the same way your relationship did, with me having mood swings that were a result from being unhappy. Funny, the things you learn growing up isn’t it? And the things you’d change if you could. Life sure does have an interesting sense of humor, eh? >_< Zomg! Let’s add more things to the “To Do” list for when I kidnap you At least you did harvests fests, and things like that. Def still fun Honestly, I’m not letting the American Dream define me- and really, Im more ‘against’ the concept of the whole American Dream then anyone I know. But when it comes to do it, there is reasoning behind it. I get why parents try to force you to go to college, because in reality and statistically… people that do, generally make more money. And parents want to know that when they are gone, their children will be able to take care of themselves. So, I do get that aspect. And I love your plan! It sounds great If you don’t want a family, again, that’s your thing and you should stick to it. Don’t let your annoying co-workers get to you. You only live once and it should be everything you want it to be. But, I do want a family. No one’s forcing that on me. I can’t wait to have kids…. Well I can, but I cant, if that makes sense :P Unfortunately, having kids does take a lot of planning. I refuse to have kids at this point in my life when I’m just making enough money to keep myself comfortable. I refuse to bring a kid into the world if I can’t properly take care of them which means lots of planning. My cousin is preggo with her second baby. She got knocked up the first time… no job, no place of her own. Ended up breaking up with the babies father, and getting pregnant by another dude. Now her jobless ass, and her bf’s jobless ass live with my aunt and uncle. Just seeing that, drives me crazy and makes me realize that I never wanna live like that… just mooching off of people and getting knocked up over and over when you can’t take care of the kids. It’s sad. Plus, I don’t have the choice to just wait and wait forever to start a family. The older you get the more health risks are involved for yourself and your baby. Plus I don’t wanna be a 40+ year old mom :P I wanna be young enough to run after my kids, and play with them and be around when they have babies and be able to run around after them. AND I want 2 or 3 kids which def means starting early. So, all in all, no one’s forcing this upon me. But having made this decision, I also realize that it’s not something I can put off forever. And don’t worry, I’d never let it suck the life outta me. Life’s too short for that! And that is totally my motto as well, and a great one! Ya know, I love the way I look. I love my tattoos, I love my piercings and my crazy dyed hair. I love my black, studded clothes, my fishnets and boots, my globs of black sparkly eyeliner and I would never ever stop being me just because people don’t accept it. I hate that people stare, I hate the attention…. But that’s because it’s negative. People see me and judge me right away without ever knowing me. I’ve had kids in HS that were too ‘scared’ to talk to me, that I ran into later in life… and after we talk they say, “wow, you’re actually really nice”… like, seriously?? Lol So change the way I look because people are judgmental and closed-minded? Never Awww, so many good things in Jamaica… where to start? Had many a Jamaican man try to take me home lol *That* was frightening :P Got to snorkel, surf, kayak. Got to go to this awesome place called the Luminous Lagoon! Took us out on a boat in the middle of the night and let us swim in water with bioluminescent microorganisms- so any movement in the water caused it to glow neon :O It was awesomeeee! Got to lay on the beach and tan while having people bring me free drinks. Got to see…. well, was forced to see, lots of big fat hairy guys in little tiny speeds xD Got to learn all about the culture. Was just… amazing
:WARNING: If I seem pissed and rude, it's because I am pissed and I have a tenancy to become rude when I am. Take nothing personally. :END WARNING: Hey, haha I'd reply quicker but a lot of times at work I can't type too much because I'm -supposed- to be doing something that obviously doesn't require typing. 'Course, I usually do it anyway. What kinda' job to you have? Yeah, I just don't see the appeal of alcohol to be quite frank. I mean, my aunt was an alcoholic and was terrible to her children and husband and died pretty alone... And my grandfather was a drunk and didn't take care of his family the way he should have and then drank himself straight to his grave. :\ So I don't want to drink lest I should fall into that pit, y'know? In fact, I've never had an alcoholic beverage in my life. Call me square if you want, but it's how I see things, y'know? I get a lot of **** about it from "friends" and co-workers and crap but it's like, hey, man, this is -my- life and -I- don't want to drink. DEAL. WITH. IT. ^ See? I'm pissed. I agree! America is so.... stressed. We spazz out so bad, man! I wish I lived in Europe. Let me rephrase, I wish I WERE European. Because, even if I moved there, I'd never BE one of them, y'know? Stupid America, Y U so trippy?? Where I live, there is a very serious possibility that they WOULD open the door holding a shot gun! :O haha I forgot to check the Wii Store to see if I was right about that.... Yes! I'll keep on the lookout for your message. Yeah... I guess it is. Thanks. I'm pretty strong willed and I don't like people who assume. Now, to his credit, I was having a serious mood swing at the time. I honestly believe a lot of it had to do with him though. Because, yes I'm incredibly lame, he was my first real boyfriend so things were new to me. And I quickly discovered I wasn't attracted to him physically and that even his personality (which is what I liked about him) wouldn't make up for the TOTAL lack of physical attraction, y'know? But I didn't know what to do so I just got stuck in this depressed funk and he, obviously, picked up on it and just, ergh, the whole relationship was bad to begin with. Not to mention the little fact that he could only see me some weekends because he was away at school. ANYWAY, point is, yes, I agree with you agreeing with me. O_O Whoa. haha (He was seeing the shrink because of having found his friend that New Year's though. The guy had put a .45 to his brain and pulled the trigger. So y'know... I guess he really was only trying to help me the best way he knew how thinking he understood my mood when he really didn't. -I- did though so I got a little pissed for him saying I should see someone. Didn't I say all this before?? Okay, yeah, shutting up now. I realize I was a bit hypocritical in that last post. First saying I didn't want to turn 21 cause I didn't want to get older then saying age is in your heart. haha But I stand by that. I just don't want to get older because -other people- see you as an "age" and think it defines who you are and how you should act. But I disagree. I've never been sledding. It's snowed once in my life where I live. December, 1996. Maybe an inch? haha It was sooooo magical to me as a kid though, cause I'd never seen anything like it except in the movies! *nostalgic smile* Dang, my life is lame! I've never been Trick of Treating either! lol My family didn't believe it that so we went to Harvest Fests and stuff and had great time!! But I'm glad you still do those things!! You should never stop. Cartoons are -amazing-. Just a question (and I deal with the same thing about the timeline of the American Dream so know that I'm talking to myself as well, haha) but why should you feel that way? Why should either of us? I mean, why does "The American Dream" define who you are and how you should live your life right down to deciding what age you marry and have children? I personally don't want a family. (maybe I'll change my mind someday, though, who knows) But even if I did, I wouldn't want one till I was about 30. Everyone is telling me to go to college and get settled into a career and start a family. GUESS WHAT? No. I don't want that! I want to go to college for photography. Then I plan on getting an RV and traveling the country. Not sure how I'll support myself financially but I intend to make it happen one way or another! Career shmere. And I don't want a family. People can suck my dick if they don't like it and I don't have a problem telling them so. What bugs me to NO END are those people in their late 40s/early 50s who try to relive their lives through me. Dude, no. -All- of my co-workers do that to me. The youngest person here besides me is 33ish. -_- It gets -very- annoying. To the point I've been almost in tears (of anger mostly) over them telling me what to do with my life. PLEASE, just SHUT UP. I'm confused enough about life as it is, I don't need you telling me that the next time I blink, I'll be 50 years old and regretting my life. -That's- what I am trying my damnedest NOT to let happen to me. *sigh* Sorry for the ramble. But y'know, I really don't see why you have to change a lot to plan for a family anyway. So plan. Save money. Get a house. Just don't let it suck the life out of you like it seems to do to so many people. No matter what happens though, I try to live this way, simply; "No regrets." haha I get enough attention just by existing. Apparently I'm a hard head and excruciatingly beautiful. Because people ALWAYS stare at me. Always. It isn't an exageration. You'd think I was a small time celeb sometimes... O_o If you don't like the attention, why do you dress that way? Not judging or anything, just curious since you don't seem to like attention much... I dress "normally" and still get stared at so you can imagine what happens when I look a bit wild. YOU MUST TELL ME MORE ABOUT JAMAICA!!
Hahaha, no worries. Like I said I respond ASAP cause it gives me something to do at work xD Honestly, when I was 21 I had no interest in drinking legally either. I mean you’re right- casinos are fun… and being able to hit up bars at shows was cool, but meh. It wasn’t until I was like… 23ish that I started going out frequently. We’ve got an arcade/bar here…. So that’s what it took to get me out lol Video games, plus alcohol… and Im sold :P Did that for a few years but back at that point where I never go out anymore. Too expensive :O … but it’s still fun to get a group together and go out every once and awhile. People do suck lol I swear it’s just Americans -__- Like…. All the other countries I’ve been to, everyone is SO nice and laid back, I love it. Here everyone is just so stressed and angry and wants to keep to themselves. It’s kinda sad :/ One kid I was talking to in Jamaica told me how he visited his family in FL, and was just astonished at how unfriendly people were. He said in Jamaica, when a new neighbor moves in- they are always greeted at their door, and invited to come and hang out. Not here, that’s for sure. Knock on someone’s door here unexpectedly and expect the person opening that door to be holding a shotgun :P Whaaaaa? Wii store *won’t* let you redownload games you’ve already purchased?? Well that sucks a big one…. Eff you Nintendo LOL Touche. We should totally arrange a Wally World: Day of Crazy Shiz event xD One day Im just gonna send you a msg like “Harrisburg, 2:35am, March 11th”, and you’ll know exactly what I mean :P Ya know, that’s everyone go-to thing nowadays is seeing a shrink and getting pills. It’s kinda sad. I’m glad you stood up for yourself. There are people that most definitely need someone to talk to, like a Psych. But a lot of times (like you said) you understand why you act the way you do and why you have the mood swings you do. And providing that you’re not acting that way because of something that happened to you and it’s just that that’s who you are, it’s good to accept that. I’m typically a laid back person, but I have my moments as well. Lol And I feel the way you do- I understand why I’m acting the way I am, I’ll get over, just leave me alone :P I totally agree, and well said. Age is most def in your heart and mind. I love the fact that I still at like a kid… I love cartoons, sledding, hell I even still Trick or Treat :P But, I personally think I’m so scared to admit that I’m 26 is because on the timeline of “The American Dream”, I’m so behind. On that timeline, by the age of 26 people are getting married and starting families and I feel like Im SOOOO far away from that point in my life, its crazy. So in that sense I feel old. My heart and mind still think I’m 18 years old which is why it’s so hard to grasp the fact that I need to start getting my life together and planning for….. *gulp* a family O_O Haha, okay okay I admit it! It was pretty fun. I just hate having attention centered on me lol :P I get enough attention (though normally negative) from people based on the way I look to last me a lifetime and more xD Omg, Jamaica sure was a blast. So sad to be home, *pouts*
I fail at life. I cannot seem to reply to people in less than 2+ weeks. Well anyway, here goes... Yes, that was the worst example I've ever heard, I have to agree. FRIDAY! I wish it were Friday at 4 right now.... haha Actually I'm about to turn 21. I'm so pissed. I don't wanna get older..... And I have no interest in drinking legally so yeah... nothing new that day either. haha I do wanna hit the casinos once though! And now I can get into all the awesome concerts at the casinos but that's about the only upside I can find to counteract the getting older downside. Anyyywhooo... Lol! I got along with everybody as a child. Now, not so much. People are just so stupid. they aggravate me to no end. -__- Yes, college is going to be very interesting for meh! I'm excited! And nervous... haha Hmmm... the Wii Store is actually lame in that it WON'T let you redownload. Unless I'm wrong... I'll check again. *snickers* Actually, let's make it a point -TO- end up in the same Wally World at the same time.... Echoing kids' toys and a security escort sounds hilariously fun!! That's awesome! And ughh, you definitely don't want to be in a relationship where the other person just DOES NOT get you in every way. It's awful. My ex didn't understand my mood swings and I couldn't explain them to him. He started saying maybe I should "see someone" and I was just like, dude, no. I don't need help. I'm not depressed. He was seeing a shrink cause he had found one of his best friends on New Years' Eve that year..... So I guess he was just trying to help but it upset me that he thought I was depressed -I- completely understood my moods and my thought process and he didn't, y'know? Though, looking back, I wonder if he was a little more right about me than I let myself see. O_o I refuse to call 26 old. In fact, I refuse to call 85 old. Age is in your heart and mind. It doesn't mean you have to be -immature- at age 30 but it's about spirit. You're young until you stop letting yourself be. I really believe that. So things like, your sense of humor? Never lose it. And your belief in dreams, never lose that. Never lose your belief in Santa Claus or miracles or the first snow fall of the season or the magic of love and the excitement of playing a new video game! Never look at teens and children and say they're stupid. Think about yourself at that age and smile. If you get old, it's your own fault for losing your heart, I think. I still believe in dreams and love and magic and I intend to never -stop- believing in it. Err... sorry. ^ Sounds like a plan! I've always wanted to be kidnapped by a kickass person. Lol!!! You know you enjoyed it no matter how much you deny it and say your friends are evil!! Come on, you know you did!! *pokes you and giggles* Umm... yeah. lol! I'm glad you had a good time! Okay, NanNoWriMo complete. xD hahaha I wish this were 50k words! ttysoon! Hope you're having a blast in Jamaica! (it's Jamaica, right?)
*GGAAASSSSSPPPPP* Thank god you made it, dunno how much longer idda lasted! Haha, it's all good Sorry for replying so quickly! No, but seriously it's ridonk what I do to get out of working... I see and email in my in inbox for anything forum related and Im on toppa that shiz like... like.... like Harry's on top of Ginny! Wow, worst example ever lol.... you can def tell it's Friday at 4 o'clock and my brain is fried -__- Oooooh, so close! You must do all of the things you are now allowed to do the day you turn 18! It's a must I can imagine homeschooling is quite interesting. But I know what you mean with moving around.... I went to like 15 different schools by the time I was in 6th grade. Mostly because I got kicked of them... apparently as a child I "did not play well with others" >_< That hasnt changed much haha.... but when I hit 6th grade, I pretty much refused to move again and then moved in with my gparents.... but at any rate I guess college will definitely be something new for you as you've never even been to a public school. I think you'll enjoy it. Many good times to be had there! Oh noooo, no more Mario64? That's a bummer.... but if you bought it from the Wii store, you should still be able DL it again even if you got another Wii... I think that's how it works but I'm sure :X LMAO, let's just hope we don't ever end up in the same Wally world at the same point in time -EVER-. We would totally be escorted out with the sounds of hundreds of kid's toys echoing behind us xD Same here, fo sho. People that lack sense of humors suck -__- I dont blame you for wanting to stab yourself in the face lol Id feel the same way... I was with my ex for 10 years before I realized that the reason I was unhappy, was because he just did not get me and my sense of humor. Which is also what led me to knowing that my fiance was perfect. Because when I make horribly inappropriate, offensive, crude jokes... he laughs ^_^ Ugh, wait until you hit 26 and then then tell me if you still consider it 'not old' lol Im not ready for all this adult crap yet!! :P ZOMG, never been to ANY haunted halloween event? Im coming to kidnap you and take you to one! lol So fun... but the brewery was awesome! Interactive Dracula themed dinner, with actors and whatnot. My evil friends told them it was my bday so they messed with the whole time... had a 'priest' come and 'get the evil spirits out' because apparently I look naughty haha That part sucked.... stupid friends
SO SORRY for not replying for so long!! But it's okay, I'm here now! You can stop holding your breath. Seriously, Mizel, breathe. No really, you're turning fracking blue! BREATHE, WOMAN!! *shifty eyes* *ahem* Yeah... haha Yeah, for real. 18 is fun but I'm planning on turning 21 and staying there. Birthday's in less than a month. Ugh. I really don't want to get any older........ O_o I've had a problem with that since I was about 12. *sigh* I'm so strange! lol School is quite interesting for me. I was homeschooled my ENTIRE life and didn't even finish. Kinda' dropped out in 8th-ish grade. Maybe before. I dunno. We moved around so much that it was just easier for me. I mean, I'm already a very intelligent person naturally so school was just like, meh. The only thing I didn't wind up smart in was math. Which is what the classes are for, actually. Going to a GED class to learn the math I never did and then getting the GED since I didn't graduate. Then, woot, college. haha My life is going to be one big blur for the next 4 years, I can already tell. Whoa. Long ramble. Sorry!! Stupid domestication. I LOVE playing Dixie!! ^^ She's so cute with her hair making her able to float and whatnot. haha Wish she were in the DK Returns! Ah, dude! You have no idea how much I love those roller coaster levels!! I had MK 64 on WiiWare but that Wii broke and we used the warranty on it and lost the game. haha I should buy it back. No, you hadn't said that. Memory of a Goldfish, 'eh? Sure you don't mean the memory of a Blue Tang? xD WAL-MART CREEPERS UNITE!! lol I absolutely love pressing all the TRY ME! buttons on kids' toys then running away. hahaha Yes, we have the concret poles... no we don't. wait... we used to! Ohmygosh, they're gone now that I think of it!!! :O So weird. haha But yeah, I know what you're talking about. HAHAHAHAHA! Hope you got a good pic of him lying on the ground with ripped pants out in front of Walmart. Definitellyyyy agree with you on that! If I ever lose my sense of humor I *will* kill myself. No joke. My aunt has ZERO sense of humor. Seriously, zilch. She's awful to be around. She's my boss. I want to stab myself in the fudging face sometimes just being around her, man! ugh. Anywho, ignore me. haha No problemo! I know what you mean! As I said, I'm never aging past 21 no matter how old I actually get. And you are so not over the hill. haha What are yo like, 26? NOT old. Cool! I've never been on a real haunted hayride. Or, if I was on one, they didn't call it that. haha So how was the brewery?
Omg, you can say that again! LOL I'd never wish to be 14 again ever. 18.... maybe. I miss those days :P And no need to apologize, I have a bizarre sense of humor as well. Just wanted to make sure I didn't offend you because I know things sometime come out the wrong way online ^_^ Hah, your week sounds about exactly the same as mine :P Minus the classes. Oh, I am so glad Im done with school -__- Classes + Work + chores, etc is such a killer on your free time The worst part is... after Im done work and cooking and cleaning and get that hour to rest and game before bed, the fiance always wants to cuddle and crap. Which is fine with him because while Im cooking and cleaning -he's- gaming lol Drives me nuts xD Oh well, life could be worse! Damn us for being domesticated women! hehe Dk2 was the shiz. And you could multiplayer so you could use Dixie! And the awesome roller coaster levels!! Now I wanna play lol I actually got Mario64 for the Wii now so I randomly play every once and awhile. Did I say that already? Ive got the memory of a friggin goldfish, I swear >.> Being normal is too boring Oh man, Wal-Mart is *always* amusing *especially* in the middle of the night! There's always so much to do :O Playing with kids toys- like having lightsaber battles! Or going through the aisles setting off everything that has a "Test Me" button.... or either putting crazy things (like condoms or pregnancy tests) in random peoples carts -or- stealing peoples carts when they aren't looking! Last time I was there my friend tried to jump one of those conrete poles out front (dunno if you know what Im talking about, they are normally out front, painted yellow and about 4.5' tall?).... yea, he didn't make it. Smashed his junk into the pole *and* completely ripped his pants. Hysterical, we just all walked away slowly while he was lying on the ground in pain. Ahaha, ridiculous xD Never stop having fun and never lose your sense of humor- that's my motto. You only live once, so make it worthwhile and f%#k what everyon else thinks P.S. Thanks for the bday wishes! However, this will be my last bday- I refuse to get older But, other then the fact that Im -officially- OLD and over the hill, it was good! ^_^ Went to this haunted hayride called Bates Motel and going to a brewery this weekend for a Dracula feast :O No idea what that entails, but it sounds good to me!
