What Chuck Norris can do!

[Saph]

So what can chuck norris do?




Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever enter a Burger King, order a BigMac, and get one...

Many years ago, Chuck Norris ate some bad chicken and got a BADASS stomach issue, so he sat down on the toilet in his house in Arizona and began relieving the discomfort.
He pushed alittle too hard, and that same spot is today known as the Grand Canyon.

Dec 2012 is real, it is when Chuck Norris realizes that he's actually not as popular as he used to be. The end is near.

Kids check for the boogeyman under their bed at night, and the boogeyman checks under his bed at night for Chuck Norris.

How to make a nuclear warhead: Have Chuck Norris wear a new boot and have him roundhouse kick someone in the face with it on, now carefully remove the power infused boot and place it inside the warhead. Upon impact all of the force will be unleashed.
And his sour feet causes the fallout by the way...

The Pen is mightier than the sword, Chuck Norris' fists are mightier than the pen.

Only Geico is worthy of using Chuck Norris in their adds...

It has been reported that Chuck Norris killed a man in New York last year while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch. Chuck Norris has been confirmed to have been in San Fransisco at the time of the murder.

Chuck Norris kills 99% of germs as a warning to the remaining 1%

Chuck Norris was once insulted on February 30th. He was so angry he both got rid of the man, and then told the calendar to forget it ever happened.

[paecmaker]

A company tried to make toilet paper with an image of chuck norris. It failed, because Chuck norris take **** from nobody.

[Saph]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

[EpsilonX]

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down

When chuck norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris'd

[Echo]

Chuck Norris can wear a vest without a shirt and still look cool.

[Ilyich Valken]

They say that under Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin, just another fist.

[Kenoi]

he put that smile on Mona Lisa's face... thats what he can do.. sorry, i had to... HAHA

[paecmaker]

Chuck norris dreams are your nightmares

Chuck norris once won a staring contest against mona lisa

God didnt rest the 7th day, Chuck norris told him to stop working

Aliens do exist, they are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

[Raoul]

Lol dam use are really funny. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

[Saph]

^ Epic Win.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat. His food eats itself for him.

If you kick Chuck Norris in the nuts, he laughs at you.

Popeyes arms are buldgy at the forearms cause Chuck norris snuck in at night and stole his biceps, which he now wears.