Top 25 Worst Nintendo Games

[Djdoubt03]

25. Teleroboxer (Virtual Boy)
Teleroboxer is the first (and only) boxing game for the doomed portable, a mix of Punch-Out!! and a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots toy. Unfortunately, the lack of diverse boxers and techniques make this a game you'll play for a few minutes and then discard. Wait for Punch-Out!! on the Wii instead.




24. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series (various)
If the Pokemon games are a family, then the Mystery Dungeon series would be the black sheep. These exploration games lack the excitement of the other Pokemon adventures, along with most of the strategy. Only die-hard fans should bother visiting these dungeons, and even they need a word of caution.




23. Geist (GameCube)
Geist has a clever idea going for it. You play as a "spectral operative," seeking out your body while using otherworldly powers to take down enemies. Unfortunately, the clunky gameplay and choppy graphics pale in comparison to Metroid Prime




22. Super Scope 6 (SNES)
This bazooka-shaped peripheral has to be the worst thing to come out of Nintendo's manufacturing plant. Sure, it looks nifty, but the games have little variety, save for Blastris. Everything else is all about shooting like crazy and lugging a piece of plastic over your shoulder. No thanks.




21. Dance Aerobics (NES)
Before the enjoyable Wii Fit, there was this, a poorly built exercise simulation that uses the now-extinct Power Pad. We never thought we'd say this, but we'd rather watch the old Jane Fonda workout tapes instead.




20. Volleyball (NES)
Nintendo released a video game dedicated to nearly every sport, including volleyball. Unfortunately, the graphics are ugly, it's hard to tell where a ball is heading half the time and the gameplay is sloppy. Give us Super Spike V'Ball over this any day.




19. Wii Music (Wii)
Even though it just came out this week, Wii Music already earns a spot on this less-than-prominent list. The concept is neat, but you never feel like you're in control of the instruments. Stick with Guitar Hero or Rock Band.




18. Pokemon Battle Revolution (Wii)
Nintendo's Wi-Fi Connection service finally launched with online play, but did so with a whimper. Battle Revolution copies the same formula from previous Pokemon Stadium games, but to very little effect. There is Nintendo DS system connectivity, but the game needed more control options to make it more Wii-worthy.




17. Gyromite (NES)
The main reason for Gyromite's existence is to justify its memorable peripheral, R.O.B. the Robot. He raises and lowers buttons on a second NES controller while you control a character through a maze with the first, but it just doesn't work. You'll have more fun having a second player control the pistons and squashing you flat.




16. 10 Yard Fight (NES)
Based on a Taito arcade game of the same name, 10-Yard Fight is as weak as sports games get on the NES with lethargic gameplay and terrible visuals. At least Nintendo released the much-improved NES Play Action Football shortly thereafter. Tecmo Bowl, though, leaves them both in the dust.




15. Donkey Kong Jr. Math (NES)
Nintendo's first (and only) attempt at making an "edutainment" game for the NES, Donkey Kong Jr. Math just doesn't add up. You use Jr. to reach out for numbers on branches to add.... Thanks, but that's what we have calculators for. Get Donkey Kong Classics instead.




14. Mario Party Advance (Game Boy Advance)
Considering how much fun Mario Party games are with friends, this Advance version is a letdown. Although it has two-player connectivity, it's limited to only a few games and a couple of modes. The rest of it devolves into twitch-based single-player fluff. Last time we checked, no one's really crazy about single-player parties.




13. Donkey Kong Barrel Blast (Wii)

One of the most broken racing games we've ever played, Donkey Kong Barrel Blast is another example of the "high concept, low execution" theory. The graphics look OK and the music is groovy, but the controls are awful. You have to bang down on drums to steer, leading to crashes and other mistakes. The saddest part is the game doesn't support the custom bongo controller.




12. Gumshoe (NES)
We love using the NES Zapper with Hogan's Alley and Duck Hunt. Gumshoe, however, makes us holster it. Why? The game requires you to shoot at a detective to make him jump, while blasting enemies coming after him. With only four stages, this game shoots itself in the foot rather quickly.




11. Street Fighter II (Game Boy)
Pleased with the success of the Street Fighter games on the SNES, Nintendo delivered a Game Boy Color edition to delight the portable masses. Unfortunately, this port only had nine characters, and the six-button gameplay turned into a merely two-button affair. The only thing you'll fight here is frustration.




10. Yoshi Topsy Turvy (Game Boy Advance)
Yoshi's Story and Yoshi Touch and Go are bad, but Yoshi Topsy Turvy is much worse. The collision detection is sloppy, the gameplay is unappealing and the whole thing's over within an hour. So much for this tilt extravaganza.




9. Yoshi's Safari (SNES)
Speaking of Yoshi-themed failures, here's another one. In this Super Scope-supported shoot-em-up, you fire at a number of classic Mario World enemies while Yoshi drives you around. The only highlight is being able to shoot him in the back of the head, in which he turns around and gives you an annoyed look. We love that.




8. Kirby Air Ride (GameCube)
We have no problem with Kirby fighting other people in the Smash Bros. games, or digesting creatures in his platform adventures. However, his one and only racing game, Kirby Air Ride, leaves a lot to be desired. Weak gameplay, bad course design put this into the "one to avoid" category.




7. Hey You, Pikachu! (Nintendo 64)
For $80 (at the time), you could purchase a really lame Nintendo 64 "game" with a virtual Pikachu at your control. You simply blurt out one of 200 commands through an attached microphone and pray that Pikachu responds. Most of the time, he doesn't. It's like buying a virtual pet that lives to please itself by neglecting you. No, thanks.




6. Donkey Kong 3 (Arcade)
The third Donkey Kong game fails on every level. Mario is nowhere to be found, replaced by a wimpy bug sprayer named Stanley. His job is to push Donkey Kong up vines using his air cannon, while shooting bugs and protecting flowers. The death scene is particularly brutal, as all the bugs fly down and surround Stanley, leaving only his sprayer behind. Yuck.




5. Mario Clash (Virtual Boy)
What could've been a really cool 3-D take on the classic Mario Bros. arcade game, Mario Clash is probably the most boring Virtual Boy game ever. You bop Koopas off ledges using their shells, then move on to the next stage and do the exact same thing. The lack of a save option and diverse gameplay make this a Clash worth avoiding.




4. Pokemon Dash (Nintendo DS)
A Pokemon racing game... now why didn't we think of that? Probably because it sucks. This game does almost everything wrong, with limited one-player selection (you can only be Pikachu) and completely wonky stylus controls. There is multiplayer support, but we doubt that people want to play this instead of Mario Kart.




3. Tenchu: Dark Secret (Nintendo DS)
Psst, the secret's out – this game's terrible. That's probably the reason Nintendo opted to sell Tenchu: Dark Secret "exclusively" through Gamestop, because they're the only distributor that was willing to sell this garbage. The ninja action is slow, the visuals are muddy and uninspired and the multiplayer is so awful that you'll want to assassinate your DS.




2. My Pokemon Ranch (WiiWare)
One of the worst WiiWare games ever produced, My Pokemon Ranch is best described as a very dull screensaver. You simply upload your characters from your DS Pokemon games, have them interact with others and take pictures. You'd actually get more excitement out of playing Pokemon Snap.




1. Urban Champion (NES)
So tell us if this sounds fun. Two guys head out to the street to beat each other up. They swing back and forth using the exact same two punches, over and over again. Occasionally, a potted plant drops down, in a lame attempt to add strategy. The fight ends when one of these guys either loses all his stamina or falls down a manhole. Really, though, you'll be itching to get into a real fight before that happens. This game is lifeless, miserably designed and simply no fun. This is more loser than champion.



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