Routing myself into internet superiority

[Kalgalath]

I'm in the market for a new or slightly used router, and i would like to know which ones to look at.

I want to spend around 50 bucks and i'm not above going onto Ebay to find it.

This is my situation. I have a PlayStation, an Xbox, a Laptop, a Desk Top, a Tablet, and three smart phones running off of my home internet.

The PlayStation, One smart phone, and the Desk Top are mine.

Currently my PS3 (soon to be 4) is in a dmz and i access the router through my desk top.
What i want is maniacal control over the internet.

I want to be able to store every devices ip into the router so that i can choose what device gets priority, and easily be able to change priorities when my mood changes.

For instance I want my ps3 to have all have internet it wants when it is on and if my son gets on his tablet and my wife gets on her phone starts streaming you tube, they are the ones that get lag and my internet is not phased.
But, say i get on the tablet and someone else is on a phone, i want to be able to "flip a switch" and the tablet receive priority. another cool thing would be if i could turn off the internet radio from my smartphone when people start pissing me off, so the only things with internet are the things wired directly in.

I think my current router can do this, but it looks really difficult, and what i'm looking for is something for laymen.

I will be happy when my family refers to me as the internet nazi and has to beg me for gigabits
Any suggestions?